Audits, much like human relationships, follow patterns. They begin with curiosity and optimism, move through phases of warmth, doubt, and discovery. When managed with care, it ends in understanding and trust. Beneath every checklist lies a conversation, shaped by emotion as much as by evidence.
Here are some possible phases of an audit:
- Ghosting
It begins before the audit even starts, during the preparation phase. The first signs of the relationship appear in how both sides communicate.
Sometimes the exchange flows easily: data arrives on time, questions are answered openly, and the tone is cooperative. Other times, silence speaks louder. Requests for preliminary information are met with long pauses or polite delays.
That’s where the relationship often opens with ghosting: a quiet avoidance that makes the auditor wonder whether anyone is still on the other side of the screen.
- Love Bombing
The day of the audit arrives, and suddenly everything is in motion.
Smiles, warm greetings, and neatly arranged documents set the tone. The site shines, confidence fills the room, and the team proudly assures you that “we’ve made great improvements since last time.”
It’s the honeymoon stage, where it is full of charm, readiness, and a touch of performance.
- Breadcrumbing Phase
As the hours pass and the questions deepen, reality begins to surface.
The process owner steps out for an “urgent call.” The record you asked for is “temporarily misplaced.” Promises of “we’ll send that later” start to replace the quick responses of the morning.
This is breadcrumbing with small pieces of information offered just enough to maintain momentum, but never quite enough to complete the picture.
- Gaslighting
It’s rarely intentional; more often, it’s a sign of discomfort. When inconsistencies appear, narratives shift: “We’ve always done it that way,” “It’s not really a deviation,” “Perhaps the requirement is open to interpretation.”
The discussion tilts from evidence toward persuasion, and the air grows dense with justifications. It’s the moment when emotion starts to compete with objectivity.
- Clarity
When the relationship is managed with transparency and respect, something different happens. Communication stays open, findings are supported with the right level of evidence, and both sides focus on facts rather than feelings.
The audit transforms into a shared inquiry, an exchange of perspectives rather than positions. This is the clarity phase, the moment when both parties see that the process isn’t about being right, but about getting it right. It’s the point where trust quietly takes root.
- Reconciliation
And finally, when the findings are clear, the emotions settle, and the conversation turns reflective, the reconciliation phase comes.
The defensiveness fades. The dialogue becomes forward-looking. The auditee begins to see the value in what was revealed, and the auditor recognizes the courage it takes to be examined.
The relationship shifts from transaction to transformation, from auditing for compliance to auditing for improvement.
Each of these phases mirrors how humans respond to pressure, evaluation, and vulnerability.
Audits, after all, are not just about systems or standards; they are about people, their behaviors, choices, and willingness to engage.
Because an audit, at its core, is not a contest to be won. It’s a relationship to be managed, one that requires commitment, patience, empathy, and trust-building.
And like any meaningful relationship, success doesn’t come from perfection, but from the willingness to stay engaged, listen deeply, and grow together.
